All the words in the English language
by frecleface
Summary: Considering how popular 'Yakko's world' was, the writers of 'Animaniacs' decided to make Yakko do another sketch like that. This time, though, Yakko gets an unexpected surprise near the end.


**A/N: There are a few references to my story 'Yakko's world'. You don't have to read that one of you don't want to (;**

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**ALL THE WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE**

When I was recording 'Nations of the world', I remember thinking how insanely hard it was! I mean, two weeks for rehearsing? That's crazy! But, I pulled it off, just like the writers expected. I also remember another thought from that moment. After two weeks of endless singing, rehearsing and dancing, and a day of recording, I actually felt like doing another one like that!

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A few months after the 'Nations' sketch, I was called once again to the writer's office. It was always pretty awkward to go there alone. Usually I always had Wakko and Dot with me.

"Yakko, do you know how popular the 'Yakko's world' sketch was?" the writer said. Oh yeah. I guess I forgot to mention that they changed the title and named it after me. "It was a huge number. To this day, I hear people humming 'The Mexican hat dance' or trying to sing along. They don't do it as well as you, though."

"I should know," I said. "I worked on that thing for days. It was bound to be popular anyway. I mean, hey! It's me! No offence, but people love me!"

"Why would I be offended?" the writer asked. "Well, that doesn't matter. The reason I called you here . . . "

He bent down to reach a drawer on his desk. He pulled out a very short script. It was only two pages. He handed it to me and I had a look at it.

"Um . . . are you sure this is a script?" I asked. "It looks more like a word list."

"It is," said the writer. "It's rhymes perfectly, plus, it's to be sung to the tune of . . . " He waited for me to finish his sentence.

"Please, don't say 'The Mexican hat dance'," I pleaded. "I've had enough of it!"

"Don't be ridiculous," said the writer. "This is the last time you ever have to sing to that tune. I promise. Anyway, don't you think it would be fun to do something like this again?"

I had a better look at the script. "Am I supposed to sing all the words there are?! Forget it! You may have fit the world in there, but this is insane!"

"Relax, it's not all the words," said the writer. "It's just a few As, Ls, and Zs. Not much to remember. It's about as short as 'Yakko's world'. I was thinking of cutting it into three little sketches to do before commercial brakes and near the end of the show. How does that sound?"

"Okay, I guess," I said and shrugged. "But why do you call it 'Every word in the English language' if you only mention a small part of them?"

"That's just a title, Yakko," said the writer. "I promise you, it will definitely look like you've sung them all."

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Unlike last time, I didn't show Dot and Wakko the script. I didn't want to put any pressure on them. Especially Wakko. I don't think he ever got over that big shock he got when he saw the 'Nations' script. Well, okay, maybe not a shock, but he was so nervous for me, he was even more scared of recording the sketch than I was!

Anyway, when I came back to the water tower that evening, I sat down with the script. It was really short, but at the same time really complicated.

_Aardvark, abating, abet, abdicating, abandon, abase and abreast . . . _

_Ablaze and ablution, abhor and abusion, abbreviate, abbey, abcessed!_

As I read it over, I said to myself: "What have I gotten myself into?"

I flipped the page.

_Zachary, Zanzibar, zappy and zamidar, zillion, zip-code and zen . . ._

_Zany and zoning and zeal and zirconium, zodiac, zombie, ze-in!_

Oh yeah. This one could be just as hard as the 'Nations', even harder!

There was a knock on the door and Dot came in. "What are you doing in here alone?" she asked. "And what's that paper?"

Oops! I forgot to hide the script from her! I tried to come up with a good lie, but the only one I could think of was: "It's a script for a new sketch." That wasn't even a lie.

Dot frowned. "Why do you only get the script? Wakko and I are just as important."

"Look Dot, I'm not in charge here, okay?" I said. "The head-writer just wanted me to do another sketch similar to the 'Nations'."

"Oh, okay," said Dot. "Have you told Wakko about it?"

"No, and I don't tend to," I said. "Remember last time? He was more freaked out than I was. So, no. I'm not going to tell him yet. I'm going to get this thing straight first."

"What are you going to sing about?" Dot asked.

"All the words in the English language," I replied. Dot stared me; eyes wide open and jaw dropped to her chest. "Not literally. Just a few ones." After I added that, she became calmer.

"Well, that's a relief," she said. "Hey, I'm no going to bother you any more. You go on and read that script. Do another great one."

She then walked out of the room. I looked at the door close before I got began reading again. She was very supportive, just like last time.

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I didn't have the heart to tell Wakko about the sketch just yet. Dot was the only one of the cast who knew about it. She had kept the playback version of the hat dance from before, and played it for me when I wanted to sing. It was all going really well. I was slowly beginning to remember the words, and I could sing them too.

"You're doing great," Dot said.

"Thanks," I replied. I wasn't as exhausted like I was when we were rehearsing the 'Nations'. Probably because I had gotten practise from that time. But the ending of the 'Words' was always a breath taker, and not in a good way.

"Is this sketch supposed to speed up too?" Dot asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I don't think so. The writer said it was supposed to look like I had sung all the words, so I guess it's supposed to slow down."

"That's silly. I think you should practise it fast anyway. Just so you get it right. The faster you practise it, the easier it is to sing it slow."

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Pretty soon, I had the song completely memorized in my head. I went to the writer's office again to tell him that I was ready for recording. But just like for the 'Nations', I found out that I had to point at the words as I sang them. Thankfully, the words were just dribbles, so I could point at any 'word' and no one would be able to tell which one it was. The only props were a giant dictionary, a stick and a hat. I was supposed to look smart again.

As for the background, there was only a big stage, as if I was performing for loads of people. I was allowed to rehearse there just to get the feeling. I didn't have to have an audience either. I used chose to use that right, so the guys at the props department had to struggle with to move the dictionary from there to the theatre.

I then asked them all to leave so I could be alone. I had to be able to concentrate, right? It was a bit late in the evening, but I was just going to rehearse a little, so I knew it would be okay.

And so, I began rehearsing. I forgot the playback, so I just had to have the song in my mind. It was pretty weird, though, not having any music and still sing. I hopped on stage, and while opening the dictionary, I imagined some one saying: "And now, Yakko Warner sings all of the words in the English language!" I picked up the pointer and wiggled with the not-so-obvious rhythm, and then began:

"Aardvark, abating, abet, abdicating, abandon, abase and abreast . . .

Ablaze and ablution, abhor and abusion, abbreviate, abbey, abcessed!

Abduct and ablation, abridge and abrasion, abash and abrupt and abride . . .

Abscond and absentia, absent, abstentia, abdomen, ably, abide!

Abdominable, abrogate, absolute, absent, absorbent, absention--"

No, wait. It was 'abstention'. All those words were making me screw up. This was harder than the 'Nations', even if it was slower. I had gotten the first lines perfectly, so I just did that last one again.

"Abdominable, abrogate, absolute, absent, absorbent, abstention, abstraction . . .

Absurd and abundant, abusive, abutment, acacia, academy, action!"

Exactly! Wow, that was fast. I felt like doing the next verse right away. I did, but it was a little bit harder, considering that I had to imagine the song moving up half a tone.

"Accede and accost and accept and across and accompany, acre, accord . . .

Accomplish, account and accrue and amount, acrimonious, active, accord!"

What? That didn't sound right . . . Dang! I said 'accord' twice! I was getting annoyed. I tried again:

"Accede and accost and accept and across and accompany, acre, accord . . .

Accomplish, account and accrue and amount, acrimonious, active, accord-- ARGH!!"

I said it again. I squeezed the pointer angrily and sat down on the stage. Okay, when I was recording the 'Nations', I was having a hard time doing the very last line, but after taking a short break and saying: "Just ONE more take", I got it right. I thought about doing that again.

"Accede and accost and accept and across and accompany, acre, accord . . .

Accomplish, account and accrue and amount, acrimonious, active, adored!"

Yes! That was it! Okay, now I had to finish the verse:

"Adrenaline, adulate, adder and advocate, advertise, adverse, abrade . . .

Advice, adversarial, advent and aerial, affluent, after, afraid!"

Hmm. Weird. The verse didn't finish properly. I hadn't thought about that when I was reading it, but now, when I was on stage, it sounded pretty strange to just cut it off like that. Oh well, it's the writer's lyrics. Besides, he did say the sketches were to be played before the commercials. But just for fun, I continued to point at the letters and even turned the page as I hummed the song. It was fun, and I even imagined the song moving up half a tone again.

Hey, why didn't the writer put any Fs in the song? . . . Why did I want Fs in the song? Eh, doesn't matter. I do remember adding a little F section myself, but it didn't work as well as the other ones. I clearly chose the wrong words to go with the rhythm, because I kept messing the first line up. Once, I got out of it in a very funny way. At that time, I thanked the writer to not have any Fs. It sounded exactly like this:

"Facial and faction and fractal and fraction and fraudulant, fragrant, frappe . . .

Frankincense, frankiship, frankinsish . . . shoot! . . . yada yada, flambee!"

That's when I realized that I wasn't the best man to write songs, so I just continued to sing. I was at the Ls, but since it was pretty late, I had automatically slowed down the rhythm in my mind. Every now and then I rubbed the sweat off my forehead too. All this singing and dancing was kind of tiring.

"Libation and libertine, limited, limousine, limpid and limbo and lime . . .

Lima and lipid and literature, liquid and listing and liter and line!"

I danced to the imagined move-up, very slowly. I was ready to belly flop down and go to sleep, but since I was doing so well, I decided not to. But as I continued to sing, my voice started to crack at some point. My throat was very dry.

"There's lobby and loading and loathsome and loaning and loco and then locomotion . . .

There's lotus and lottery, lobo, lobotomy, logic and loosen and lotion!

Lozenge and lubber and lucky and lover and lullaby, lumber and Luke . . .

Luster and luscious and lunatic, lustrous and lurking and lunar and lute!"

When I said 'lute', it sounded more like a sigh than an actual word. I yawned and sat down on the stage again. I had no idea what the time was, but I knew it was pretty late. I shut my eyes in an attempt to take a nap, but I couldn't get to sleep. Then again, I couldn't keep myself awake either. Stupid long evenings of rehearsing . . .

I stood up again, and started to imagine the song. But I knew it looked more like I was asleep than having fun singing. I tried to dance, but my feet barely moved upwards. My hands hung down too, so I reminded myself of a monkey. This time, my voice wasn't cracking. It was asleep too. It kept failing to sing the right tones.

"Zachary, Zanzibar, zappy and zamidar, zillion, zip-code and zen . . .

Zany and zoning and zeal and zirconium, zodiac, zombie, ze-in!"

I mumbled the rest of the words and my hand wouldn't do anything but carelessly swing around the pages of the dictionary, rather than point at the words. I shook my head and tried to sing again, but my voice wouldn't let me.

"Zigging and zagging and zealous and zebra and zenith and zap and zaffer . . . "

I practically melted to the ground, but managed to keep standing as I sung the very last line which was, like I said before, one mean breath taker.

"Zeppelin, zipper and zephyr and zither then zinc and zombini and zoo and zucchini--" my knees failed to hold me up, "and Zulu and Zorro then zit and Zamoro--" I was struggling to stay up, "and zero and zoom and . . . "

I belly flopped. It felt like the pointer just bended from exhaustion too. I think I might have passed out for a while.

I was beginning to see things. My sight was blurry, but I could have sworn I saw a very interesting figure coming my way. I tried to stand up, but I was too tired to even move.

"Yakko? What are you doing?" said the figure. I recognized it.

"Hellooooo nurse!" I said in a weak, low voice. When Hello Nurse came closer, I saw that she wasn't wearing her usual too tight nurse outfit, but a doctor's robe. That frightened me. Plus, she didn't have as much make-up. "Am I dreaming?"

Hello Nurse giggled. "Apparently. Hey, I have a question. Why didn't you take a break? You were tired before you even began." She spoke in an unusually soft voice. Had she changed?

"I guess I just waned to get it all over with," I replied. I still couldn't move. Then, out of the blue, Hello Nurse bent down. She gently put her hand under my chin and lifted my head up a little. Unlike any other time with her, I felt really uncomfortable. She was hitting on me, and not the opposite!

"Yakko, it's not like you to give up like that," she said. Her face was really close to mine. "There's only one word left. Finish this thing, even if it kills you." She left a smooch on my nose, stood up, and was about to leave. I didn't want her to go. So what if she was a vision? She was nicer to me than the real Hello Nurse ever was. I was slowly beginning to be able to move again.

"Wait!" I said. I struggled to stand up. I managed to get up on my knees and look at the dictionary. I lifted my arm, and lightning fast, I pointed at some dribble and sighed: "Zaire!" Then I plumped down again.

I suddenly heard cheering and Dot saying: "He did it! Yakko Warner has just sung all the words in the English language!" I opened my eyes and saw two girls on stage with bouquets, and Dick Button was in front of me. I was a little disappointed that it wasn't my vision of Hello Nurse, but didn't show it. I sat up on my knees and fixed the hat on my head.

"Hey, congratulations Yakko," said Dick.

I nodded. "Thanks, Dick," was all I could say. The two girls then helped me to stand up.

Then Dick said: "Join us next time when Yakko Warner will sing all of the numbers above zero. Good night!"

I fainted. Not because I was tired, but because of what Dick said. ALL OF THE NUMBERS ABOVE ZERO??!! NOT A CHANCE!!!

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I didn't have the vision of Hello Nurse again. Too bad, I liked that. I woke up in my own bed, with Wakko and Dot standing in front of me.

"How are you?" Wakko asked.

I sat up. A sudden realization hit me. "I am NOT going to sing all the numbers above zero!!"

"Relax, Yaks," said Dot. "There's no way they're making you do that. It was just a line we thought would be funny."

I looked at her with the same look she gave me before. "What are you talking about?" Then I remembered hearing her voice when I came to. "Wait, what were you doing there? What was Dick Button doing there? Who were those girls?"

Dot and Wakko looked at each other and laughed. "I thought you'd never ask," said Dot. "You see, I knew about the sketch the whole time. I was giving it a commentary with Dick Button! Didn't you wonder why some of the verses were cut short? It was done so Dick and I could comment on you!"

I still looked at her, shocked. "Why didn't they tell me this?"

"They thought the sketch would be more realistic if you didn't know about it," said Dot. "You were so tired near the end, they thought it looked like you really had sung all the words in the language! That last part was unexpected, though. We didn't think you'd pass out on the last word!"

I lay down again. "Did it come out okay?"

"Totally!" said Wakko. "You were awesome! I don't know about everyone else, but I loved it!"

I smiled at them. I wasn't angry at all. In fact, I was kind of glad that I didn't have to do it all over again.

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As usual, the cast and crew of 'Animaniacs' were called to have a look at my sketches. There were three of them, all to be put in different spots in the episode. I was excited to see Dot and Dick's commentary. I just hoped it wouldn't cut on my singing. The first line was indeed: "And now, Yakko Warner sings all of the words in the English language!"

I saw myself hop on stage, open the dictionary, and wiggle with the rhythm. The music editor had placed the song perfectly to mach my moves. After the A section, I saw Dot and Dick comment for the first time.

"Well, there it is," said Dot. "Yakko Warner now well under way in singing all the words in the English language. I'm Dot Warner. With me is Dick Button. Dick, a good start?"

"Oh, yes Dot," said Dick. "A marvellous start to what is a difficult, difficult routine."

"Stay tuned," said Dot. "The sing-along has only just begun."

And with that, the screen faded out. The people in the room applauded, but then another sketch started. That one started off with Dot and Dick.

"Welcome back," said Dot. "Yakko is now at the Ls as he tries to sing all the words in the English language. A slight mistake at the Fs. Here's what it looked like."

I gasped. They used my attempt to make my on lyrics! They used that F screw-up! I couldn't help but laugh at myself.

"Now, that mistake could have proved costly for Yakko, but he recovered beautifully," said Dick in the commentary.

"Now let's watch as Yakko continues with the Ls."

I noticed that the music had slowed down a bit. Then I remembered how tired I was at that part. Then the commentary started again.

"Yakko Warner is now about half way through all the words in the English language," said Dot. "Keep singing along, and we'll be back with more."

The screen faded out and the people in the room applauded again, just before the last part played. This time, the music was slower than ever and it sounded funny. It was like the instruments were as tired as I was at that time. I sung two lines before Dot and Dick started commenting.

"Yakko Warner is now moments away from having sung all the words in the English language," said Dot. "Dick Button, is he going to make it?"

"If it was anyone else, I'd say no," said Dick. I felt proud. "But he's young, he's resilient, we'll just have to see."

That's when the last part of my singing came. The part where I slowly fell down on my knees. When I belly flopped (and began having those visions) Dot said: "Guess not."

"Wait!" I said from behind. I almost laughed out loud. It looked like I was saying 'wait' to Dot and Dick, and not the Hello Nurse vision! I said 'Zaire' and the ending looked just like I had witnessed when I had woken up. When the last sketch ended, everyone in the room stood up and applauded, just like when the 'Nations' was premiered. I stood up and bowed, so proud of myself; I could have exploded!

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Last time, I felt like doing something similar to the 'Nations' sketch. But after this, I never had that feeling again. No, someone else thought about it . . .

**-The end-**


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